I remember being five years old sitting at the table after Halloween
with my brother, Dusty, and my ex step-mother, with what seemed at the time to
be a huge treasure of candy, and all I wanted to do so badly, that I was bawling,
was to take it to the homeless people. You know, so that they would not starve.
Simply put I was told, “That’s a sweet thought.” It seemed my whole life I was
told that it was a nice to have those thoughts; to think about doing something but
never really acting on it. As if somehow those thoughts made you the next
Mother Teresa. My personal belief for this reason is because all too often
people do not trust, and rightfully so. We hear almost every day about some scam artist,
who made a bundle of tax free cash by sitting on the corner. While we have to
work 40 hours a week to make what they did in a few short hours, and that is
just not fair. The hardest lesson I learned in life is just that, LIFE IS NOT
FAIR. Now I always knew life was not fair but I did not know how unfair until I
lost my little brother, and that why this little story is dedicated to him.
Now there are two major events in my life that occurred that
changed my thoughts into actions. The first one was when I was in eighth grade history
and the second one happened when I was about 14, right after Thanksgiving.
When I was in eighth grade I had a history teacher that I
was not so fond of. I felt as if she was a stuck up snob who felt she was too
good for her job. She was always bragging about her advertisement degree, her
husband who made oodles of money and her two young daughters, but one day she
came to school with a story that changed my harsh judgment towards her and gave
me a lot of respect for her. She was slightly upset and one of the other students
asked what was wrong, which of course allowed her to talk about herself, so began
to tell her story. She had been at the circle K at about 35th avenue
and Dunlap near Cortez High School in Phoenix, AZ. There was a lady outside the
store, with her two children, begging for money. My teacher did not have any cash
on her so she went inside and bought some food for the family, well as much
good food as you can at a convenient store, and garishly walk out the doors and
gave the lady the food she had just purchased. Instead of this lady being
thankful she asked her if she could go back in and buy her some cigarettes and booze,
when she replied no the lady took a swing at her and her husband/boyfriend got
out the car and called her a b*tch. Now my respect for her grew, but my compassion
slightly faded for people asking for “things.” What restored my compassion was
right after Thanksgiving, when I was 14; my brother and I went to Metro Mall to
do some holiday shopping. There was a homeless man walking around the parking
lot, begging everyone in sight for money because he was hungry. I walked passed
him as if he was invisible and smelt the reek of alcohol and filth, but as I turned
back and saw my little brother who was 13 at the time giving him all the money
he had. I was so angry I told him, “Why did you waist your money he’s only
going to go drink it.” My brother looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“maybe and maybe not but no one deserves to go hungry and alone on the holidays.”
In that moment I realized that he was absolutely right, and who was I to judge
this man I did not even know. That was the day my brother taught me to love unconditionally.
Those two life changing events are what started a chain
reaction of putting my “sweet thoughts” into real life actions. We never know what
life struggles someone is going through or what demons they are trying to destroy.
The fact is we are all human and we all
have life struggles. No one is perfect and no one always makes the right choices,
but I know the world is a lot brighter and easier to handle when someone,
anyone, shows their unconditional love.
Thank you Bubba John for being the greatest teacher. I thank God for every moment that I had with you, every memory we share, that art you inspire me to create and every story I get to tell my daughter, your niece. You are the reason I started, with Jessica, the nonprofit organization "God Boxes".
